Love, Lo

.becoming.

There lies a tension between who God has said that we are and who we are becoming. I’ve been thinking about this tension a lot lately. 

How do I live who God has said that I am: the truth that I am already that…while also giving myself grace to become?

God sees us as fully created, fully alive. Spotless, blameless, fully who we are created to be, but at the same time we are in a process of becoming just that. 

How amazing is it that He loves us so much that He truly sees us.   If you ever feel unseen, it’s simply not true. He sees you. He sees you more clearly than anyone. 

I’ve been thinking too about how as we realize who we are and walk in that it releases grace for those around us walk in true identity as well. Living people raise up living people. 

Papa,
Help me see myself through your eyes: fully alive, awake, and fully who I’m created to be, so that others around me will be swept up into their true identity also.   Give me grace for the process of becoming. 

.through.

Tonight I totally kicked fear in the butt.  I started working on a song that I wrote the lyrics to a few years back, and for the first time in my life I did not give into discouragement. Lyrics are one thing…words have always come easy to me, but music has always been my weak spot in writing.

For years I have wanted to write songs.  For years I have gotten words about writing songs.  For years I have sat down at my parents baby grand to write, and for years I have gotten quickly discouraged.  But even though I only took a few minutes to write tonight, I left my keyboard and little writing corner encouraged.  I left it excited to come back and work more. It was the first time in my life I hadn’t gotten discouraged writing music.

Tonight breakthrough tasted like hope.  Tonight possibility was in the air.  Tonight fear had to leave, because creativity and life took it’s place.

.advocate.

I was just talking to God.  Just having a conversation about every day life and decisions.  I’ve been having these a lot lately.  I’ve made a lot of life changing decisions in the past few months, and I’ve had such peace as I’ve made each one. 

I used to think that I could make the wrong decision.  I was usually freaked out, and because of that I sometimes made decisions entirely outside of the peace and rest of God.  God has rarely given me one option in my life.  Most of the time He says he’ll bless either decision I make.  He is most often annoyingly free with me. 

We get used to control because we live in a world that really likes to operate in it most of the time.  And then we begin to dialogue with God and He gives us options… He gives us so much freedom it freaks us out.  “Just tell me what to do!”  How many of us have probably prayed that prayer.  From the very beginning God has given us choices.  Good fruit or bad fruit.  Follow me or don’t follow me.  

Lately He has been teaching me about being His daughter and His friend.  “You know my heart.  We have history,” He says.

This morning I was dialoging with God.  He often asks me questions these days, “What about this, Lora?” or “What about that?”  This morning He said something interesting to me.  I said, “God you’re not going to tell me what to do are you?” (Even though I know the answer to this already.)  But then He began to show me his heart, and it began to move me in a particular direction.  And then He dropped this bomb on me:

“I don’t control, but sometimes I advocate.”

Wow.

To “advocate” is to publicly recommend or support.  An “advocate” is a person who publicly supports or reccomends a particular cause or policy or a person who pleads on someone else’s behalf.  It’s origins are from the word “advocare”

ad-: meaning ‘to’

-vocare: “to call”

so the full meaning of the word is “to call to” or “call (to one’s aid)”.

God is our advocate.  In every decision we make, He will advocate the best decision for both ourselves and others, and I believe that when we make decisions as sons & daughters with His heart and ways in mind, He will bless whatever we choose to do.  But it will not stop Him from moving us with His heart if we open our eyes to see it.

.29.

Tomorrow is my birthday.  All today God has been speaking to me about His goodness and how this is going to be a year where His goodness on my life and my awareness of it is going to be increased exponentially.  I’m totally okay with that.

I couldn’t sleep, and felt like I was just supposed to let God speak to me about this next year, and when I was searching for my file that I put all my prophetic words in, I found the document that I wrote everything down in from when I did the same thing on my birthday last year.  I can say that most everything on that list that God spoke to me came true.  Some things didn’t look like I thought they would, but instead turned out more beautiful and more full of His presence than I would be able to imagine.  Some are still a work in process though the seeds were planted this year, and some were incredibly simple but fun things that God just wanted me to know He had for me this year.

So here I go again.  29, I’m ready.  May you be the best year yet!

?

I’m so tired right now, but it’s just one of those nights that I have to write.  It’s been a good day and a good weekend, so I just wanted to share some of the goodness of God.

There’s this way that I love to prophesy and declare the goodness of God over my good friends.  I like to ask them questions like “Did you know that you are going to see nations saved in a day?” or “Did you know that heaven has crazy dance parties to the sweet beats you lay down?”

I don’t remember the exact time I started to use these prophetic questions, but I do remember one that completely changed my life.  One time I was walking through what we call a “fire tunnel” at Bethel Church which is basically a really long tunnel of people laying hands on you, blessing you, and filling you with more of the presence of God.  It was before I went to Bethel, and I was just visiting, so most of the culture was new to me.

After I exited the tunnel I was walking away, and this guy ran up to me with this super intense look on his face and said, “Do you realize you have a prophetic calling on your life?”  I was slightly freaked out but nodded my head yes, as I’d received words about this before.

As much as it might have freaked me out in the moment, that prophetic question changed the course of my life, and has brought me on an adventure in the kingdom that has been far worth the prices I have paid and the years where it was difficult for me to see the goodness of God. 

And I am still on that journey.  I discover more of His goodness every day.  As I align my thoughts with His, I find my days filled with unexpected redemption, breakthrough, and fun surprises…just because I am His.

And today, the questions that I so familiarly ask others He began to ask me today.   And then He didn’t stop.  All day long he asked me if I knew the most beautiful things about myself. 

I don’t tell you this to brag, I tell you this because I want you to experience it for yourself!  Ask God to ask you prophetic questions about yourself today.  Discover more of who you are in Him. Allow Him to ridiculously bless you.  And when you think you’ve had enough, please let Him speak more.

.left field.

When I was little my parents signed me up to play sports.  I’m sure I wanted to, and it was nothing they forced me into, but I remember playing both soccer and softball.  I’m not sure how much of it I actually played though as all my memories  were of picking little white flowers that would grow in the fields. 

Sure I would run around with the mob of tiny soccer players, but mostly as soon as that patch of white flowered beauty would catch my eye I would be there free-spirited and picking all of the flowers that I could. 

My softball career went the same way.  I often found myself in right and left field with my coach  yelling things like “stop smelling the roses and keep your eye on the ball.”

As I got older, I got more competitive and got more into the game, but today there is a part of me that loves to be that little girl again smelling the flowers and stopping for the beauty in every moment.  To not worry about who’s winning the game or what rules we are playing by.  I just want to spend time in the beautiful presence.

But that’s the beauty of God.  Even when everything is busy around us or chaos that is going on, there is always time with God to stop and appreciate the beauty of a moment.  It’s what we were created for: to dwell in His presence wherever we are at.  It’s something I never want to forget.

.out of the ❤ the mouth speaks.

This blog is about to get really real. I don’t want to expose myself, and I want to have grace for myself, but tonight I needed to be raw.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the heart lately.  I’m reading a book right now that gives the advice that when we are loving and leading people, it’s important that we are making sure that their hearts are healthy, so they are functioning at their full potential as a powerful person.

And yet I failed to recognize that I have been neglecting my own.

Lately I have been saying things that I regret saying.  I think we all do this sometimes.  The dreaded “foot-in-mouth syndrome”.    So I find myself tonight sitting in my room and praying for keys, because I know that it is a habit I want to break.  God, what can I do?  And then I realize that God in teaching me to lead others through this book, is actually teaching me to lead my own life.  To take responsiblity for my actions and my heart.

What have I done to take care of my own heart lately?  I realized not that much.  I have read my Bible, I have spent time with Jesus, and I have worshiped.  But it has been far too long since I sat my heart down in front of Him and said “please search me & know me.”  It has been far too long since I said, “God I must encounter your love, and I’m not leaving until I do.”  He loves those challenges.

One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 27.  In verse 8 it says: “When You said, “Seek My face,” my heart said to You, “Your face, O LORD, I shall seek.” 

Something powerful happens when our hearts not only seek God but are loved by him.  I have experienced this in overflow, but lately it has been missing.  And it’s my responsibility to make sure that every day I say “search my heart. what’s missing?”  He knows it way better than I do. 

God’s been speaking to me so much about my words.  Words have the potential to be my biggest strength and my biggest weakness.  But I want them to be my biggest strength. I believe that is who God says that I am.

Luke 6:45 (Amplified) says:

⁴⁵The upright (honorable, intrinsically good) man out of the good treasure [stored] in his heart produces what is upright (honorable and intrinsically good), and the evil man out of the evil storehouse brings forth that which is depraved (wicked and intrinsically evil); for out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks.

If I look at the problem, the problem is not that I’m having trouble with my self-control and speech.  The problem is with my heart.  Every day I must open it up more and let God fill every place that needs filled.  Every day I must expose light to the places that are hidden.  I must feast on life and truth and love.  I must take every thought captive that doesn’t feed my heart with life and hope.

Think of the life potential if every day we said, “God what can I do to take care of my heart today?”  Surely nations would be changed.  At the least, we would love more.

Reflect

I’m wrapping up my time here in Redding and finding myself rather emotional.

I’ve learned so much here. I’ve grown so much here. My hope has been restored, and I’ve learned how to keep it alive.

And that doesn’t mean that everything has been perfect or is fully redeemed. There are still things unfinished in my own life and in my family. And i have learned that everywhere you go there will be something messy. This is where grace, love, and patience come in. There are still things I’m contending for and hoping for. Love hopes. It never gives up.

I can’t wait for this next step in my journey. I love the nations. And it feels good to be between two houses that I love. I have so much honor in my heart for both Bethel and YWAM, and feel privileged that I have gotten to serve and learn from both of these ministries.

So I’m just going to let myself feel all the emotions I need to feel. You have to love the process.

.sent.ones.

The other day I was thinking about words and what they mean, and where God and creativity fit into that {pretty much just nerding out} and I started to think about the word missionary. 

Since I was a little girl, I have wanted to be a missionary.  When I was super young I would write letters to them and read their stories.  My parents were constantly surrounding me with their missionary friends, and teaching me to pray for nations.  I like to tell my parents these days that they pretty much ruined me.  When I express the desire to go to countries that make them squirm I like to follow with “It’s totally your fault,” with a clever smirk on my face.

As I began to think about the word missionary God prompted me to look up it’s origin and not just it’s definition.  This led me to look up mission, the word missionary  is derived from and this is what it said:

Origin of “mission”:

mid 16th. century (denoting the sending of the Holy Spirit into the world): from Latin missio, from mittere ‘send’

To be a missionary is to be a sent one. The original mission was the one where Jesus was sent not just to save the world, but to redeem restore and reconcile it.  He healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out demons, healed people emotionally, and loved them radically in spite of the social expectations and religion of his day.  He was creative and pushed boundaries, rubbing spit in one man’s eyes to heal them.  He carried so much of the presence of God that people were healed merely by touching his clothing.  Then He died on a cross, only to be raised three days later so that we could live abundantly.  So that we could be a people fully living.  Then before He left He told His apostles about some goodness that was about to be unleashed upon them: “you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.” (acts 1:8)

We carry His spirit as we are sent into the world.  Wherever we go we are missionaries.  We are sent ones, called to release His presence and His kingdom everywhere our feet will tread, and in every realm of society.

.dream.scape.

I had a dream last night.  I was in a foreign country and I was trying to take pictures of all of these beautiful people and landscapes.  But the lens on my camera was not working and causing my trigger to freak out and freeze up, and everything was changing right before I was able to capture some of the most beautiful shots I had ever seen. 

I began to get frustrated, and quickly lost my peace in the dream.  What was the point? I gave up trying to capture the beauty around me.  I gave into disappointment.   And all I had to do was change lenses.  It was the lens that I was using that was causing me to lose my peace.  Had I changed my lens, the outcome of the situation could have been drastically different.

Perspective is everything.  When we are in the midst of craziness, chaos, and transition there is nothing left to do but to change our lenses.  Heaven’s perspective is where we find peace.  It is where we are able to continue to capture beauty even in the midst of a storm.